To say it's been a while would be delusional. And I don't doubt for a moment that to some extent
I am, during this period of isolation. Every day seems much the same as the one previous and the
one to come. Small things set each day apart, such as the weather and television shows perhaps (yuck). If I look at my calendar, I see events that had been planned, now crossed out with nothing in their place. Sounds depressing, tho' I don't mean it to. In some ways there's a certain comfort to the day-to-day routine, a routine I don't ever remember experiencing. We don't set an alarm. We rise in the morning when we wish, "lollygagging" till midday when each of us creates some small chore or activity to keep us occupied. And somehow evening comes 'round and it's time for dinner. I cannot
deny that I'm tired of cooking! I thought I liked to cook. I must reassess that idea.
When evening does approach, as you may guess, I sit on a porch for a at least a little while. Some
evenings it's been a little cool for a long porch sit - even for me! But I bundle or cover and make the
effort anyway, often with a tiny little triple martini to mark the hour. Somehow a porch sit seems
necessary to round out the day, to watch the scant traffic go by, to feel the breezes, to watch how the
trees are budding. Just to feel a part of the world. Often times I will wander from porch to porch, just
to get a complete view. As much as I enjoy it - and I do.....as much as I am capable of enjoying my own company, and I usually do........I find myself looking at the empty rockers and longing for the company of the world. Then I'm reminded of how I felt during the ordinary days, before our unfortunate incarceration. I remember how grateful I would be for those quiet, alone moments on the
porch in the evenings, following busy days, bustling days, stressful days, when being alone seemed
like a gift. Perspective, right?
If and when we ever get to return to the normalcy we knew - and somehow that seems beyond
possible, will I remember how it felt to long for the company of the world? Or will I quickly forget
and return to longing for alone time? I guess time will tell.
For now, I know I have much for which to be grateful. I am not living in this big brick tomb by myself. There's room to spread out, but also the room to come together and Robert and I are doing both. We are retired, so we don't have to worry about going to work and endangering ourselves or each other. So far we're safe and undiagnosed with the dreaded "rona". And we have the ability
to stay in touch with loved ones via phone and social media. All in all, not the worst situation at all.
So, we are going from day to day, taking pleasure and joy in small things such as staying up late,
sleeping late, a little reading, cleaning out the dark and foreboding places, going through old pictures
that tell the tales of our lives and always, always - finding time on the porches.
Today is dark and sad Saturday, the day before Easter. How could our desolation or imposed isolation be worse than that original pre-Easter Saturday? That day when hope seemed very uncertain. We
know, by Grace, that tomorrow will come. The sun will rise, our hope will be realized and He will be risen! Allelujah! To my Christian friends and loved ones, I wish you a blessed Easter. Stay safe.
Stay healthy. Stay hopeful.
And if you drive by and see us on the porch, honk and wave. These days it's as good as a hug!
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