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Friday, May 15, 2020

'WHAT'S FEEDING YOUR SOUL?"

I've been impressed with all the Facebook posts I've seen, regarding everyone's areas and degrees of
creativity during this unfortunate incarceration. You've been painting, reading, jogging, honing your musical skills, sewing, quilting, redecorating your homes and, in general, re-charging your lives for the better! But let's get real. I admire your talents and your abilities, but really.....what time do you actually get out of your PJs? Rhetorical question.

I have to say......my creativity has taken a nose dive and I have not been very enterprising about doing
anything about it. I'm trying. Truly, I am. After all, this is only mid-May and we have till when? FOREVER, to get it done!!!??? I am determined to make some headway in some area! I'll get back to
you on that.

One thing I'm afraid that many of us are doing is cooking and baking. It just seems like the nurturing
thing to do, right? In the beginning of this mess I actually enjoyed it. I was cooking dishes I hadn't taken the time to cook in ages. And I was baking ad-nauseum for the sweet tooth in the family! But at
this point, I'm having trouble making toast or putting creamer in my coffee. I hate the kitchen, don't know why I even wanted one and I'm considering having it sealed off from the rest of the house. If I didn't have to walk through it to get to the laundry room or the back porch...........

Oh, well.......

On a brighter note, has anyone else found themselves going through cook books? I certainly have.
As women (or cooks, to be non-specific in gender), most of us have too many cookbooks but still
clamor for more. It's akin to an illness in some cases. I don't reach that magnitude, but I do have a lot.
Some are by well known authors, some are old classics like the good ol' Better Homes & Gardens....
I actually still have the little handmade cookbooks put together by Jamey's nursery school. And then there are the notebooks we've all compiled, containing the recipes we've clipped from magazines, etc. Ever made any of those wonderful recipes? Yeah, I know, once in a great while. But we've got 'em if we need them.

These days some people don't even open a cookbook. They just consult google. Am I right? Did I
hit a nerve? Again, rhetorical.

But without a doubt, my favorite cookbooks are the local ones, the ones compiled by local churches,
women's sororities and clubs. They have the recipes we go to over and over again. The pages are
sometimes stained and they bear the names of those wonderful women who submitted the recipes.
Our mamas and grandmothers, sisters, aunts, neighbors, dear friends, living and gone.....
Remember that wonderful meatloaf recipe that Mary made? Or that great chocolate cake recipe
from Bernice? Those are the best and you all know it.

Sometimes the recipes are even named after the people we remember and loved. Velma's Cocoa Fudge, Aunt Millie's Barbecue Sauce, Aunt Jane's Oatmeal Cookies.......You know what I mean. When we submit these recipes to a book that's being compiled, we do so in the name of a loved one because it was THEIR RECIPE, and by doing so, they are forever immortalized. It's an act of love
and of remembrance. I think that's because our memories are all wrapped up in the kitchen,
watching our moms or grandmas cook their special recipes and serve them to us - as acts of love.
So many treasured memories in our lives seem to include the kitchen and the food, the people and
the experiences that are shared around the dinner table.

I fear that to a great extent those days may not be so prevalent now, particularly while we're all
separated, one from another.

My grandma was not what you would call a great cook. There, I've said it. She just wasn't. But
she had her specialties. There's never been an oatmeal cookie as good as hers. And she made
great rhubarb pie! And if you checked her ingredients, there was more love in her recipes than
in anyone else's I've ever known. According to my own mother, she was not a good cook when
she married daddy. But he taught her to cook and he taught her very well. The downside? In her
brief life, she didn't teach me. She would always say, "You go do 'this or that'. It's easier if I
do it myself." Therefore, I reached adulthood not knowing too much about cooking or baking.
I've worked at it. I still work at it. I do ok. But who cares? I now hate the kitchen!!!

I'll close now. Gotta' clean the kitchen. Because after all, tomorrow is another day!

I made it to two out of three porches this evening, while listening to the music of High South.
It was wonderful. Fed my Friday night soul. I hope you're all well and finding something to
feed your souls.

See you on the porch!




Sunday, April 19, 2020

'WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR LANGUAGE?"

I guess it's clear....I'm watching too much TV. Not because it's good, or that there's anything really
worth watching. But still, I watch. If I watch anything that's been done in the last five years (which lets out old movies and Gunsmoke), I'm realizing that people don't talk the way they used to.
Am I right? I'm getting used to the bad grammar (if you know me, you know that's huge and I'm not really getting used to it!!!!!!!). But it's more than that.

I used to have trouble hearing the word "like" being used every other word in a sentence. Such as.....Like, I went to the mall and like, I saw this great outfit, and like, it fit perfectly and like
I just had to have it......That craziness still exists in conversations but LIKE I kind of weed it out when I can. Now, it's the word "so". Every answer to every question has to start with the word "so".
Even the top journalists do it. For instance, "When did you know you wanted to be a performer?"
"SO, I knew when I was five." Or "Why did you decide to open your own restaurant?" "SO, I
loved to cook as a kid.........." What's happening????????? Try that sentence without the word SO and ya' know what? It makes perfect sense without the word SOOOOOO!

OK, moving on.....when in our language did the letter "g" become the letter "G"? Examples:

Giving - GivinG
Walking - WalkinG
Talking - TalkinG
Singing - SinginG

As I recall, that last letter, the letter "g", should be silent, soft....not hard and emphasized. Linda Cash Egge, talk to me!!! Have I completely lost my mind? When and why did this metamorphosis take place in our language? And honestly, I'm not sure why it bothers me so much. I mean, as lonG as
I believe I'm sayinG these words correctly or not endinG every sentence with hard G, shouldn't I be
satisfied? Maybe I'm not drinkinG enough! No, that can't be it!!!

Now, I'm telling you, I'm not even going to harp here about I seen it (saw it). Or I done it (did it). Or I should have went (gone). Or them guys (those)!!!!

I'm sorry. I apologize. I  know I'm getting mean and rude and overly judgmental and way too touchy
and .... did I mention rude? I don't mean to be. I realize that often when people say these things, they
are much brighter than I am..... more talented in lots of ways......And still I harp and harp and
harp! I can't blame it on the social distancing and the isolation, because people who know me know
I've ALWAYS been this way. Though I MAY be a little worse right now!!!!! And also, I know I can
make errors in grammar. I have a good friend who, in recent years, pointed out a couple of word usages that I often tended to mis-use. For instance, there's a big difference between fewer and less. And we so often mis-use the word anxious. Check it out! I was so thrilled to have it brought to my
attention and realized that, though I knew the difference, I had gotten lazy about the usage.

Oh, well, now that I've offended every reader I may have had, I'll sign off. I told myself I would
never write this blog for that very reason. And yet, here it is......

Bottom line, I guess it's not how we speak that should matter, as much as what we mean when we
say it. I guess it's not how we say it, as much as what's in our hearts as we speak. I may need to
be reminded of that from time to time. Forgive me, please.

Soooooo, I spent some time on the front porch this evening. It was a wonderful respite from TV and cleaning, etc. It looks like the coming week could offer some temps that are a little more inviting. Stay home. Stay safe and healthy and cautious and patient and well, you know........all those things
that are going to help us get through this.


Saturday, April 11, 2020

"GRATEFUL FOR SMALL JOYS, AMID THE MADNESS"

To say it's been a while would  be delusional. And I don't doubt for a moment that to some extent
I am, during this period of isolation. Every day seems much the same as the one previous and the
one to come. Small things set each day apart, such as the weather and television shows perhaps (yuck). If I look at my calendar, I see events that had been planned, now crossed out with nothing in their place. Sounds depressing, tho' I don't mean it to. In some ways there's a certain comfort to the day-to-day routine, a routine I don't ever remember experiencing. We don't set an alarm. We rise in the morning when we wish, "lollygagging" till midday when each of us creates some small chore or activity to keep us occupied. And somehow evening comes 'round and it's time for dinner. I cannot
deny that I'm tired of cooking! I thought I liked to cook. I must reassess that idea.

When evening does approach, as you may guess, I sit on a porch for a at least a  little while. Some
evenings it's been a little cool for a long porch sit - even for me! But I bundle or cover and make the
effort anyway, often with a tiny little triple martini to mark the hour. Somehow a porch sit seems
necessary to round out the day, to watch the scant traffic go by, to feel the breezes, to watch how the
trees are budding. Just to feel a part of the world. Often times I will wander from porch to porch, just
to get a complete view. As much as I enjoy it - and I do.....as much as I am capable of enjoying my own company, and I usually do........I find myself looking at the empty rockers and longing for the company of the world. Then I'm reminded of how I felt during the ordinary days, before our unfortunate incarceration. I remember how grateful I would be for those quiet, alone moments on the
porch in the evenings, following busy days, bustling days, stressful days, when being alone seemed
like a gift. Perspective, right?

If and when we ever get to return to the normalcy we knew - and somehow that seems beyond
possible, will I remember how it felt to long for the company of the world? Or will I quickly forget
and return to longing for alone time? I guess time will tell.

For now, I know I have much for which to be grateful. I am not living in this big brick tomb by myself. There's room to spread out, but also the room to come together and Robert and I are doing both. We are retired, so we don't have to worry about going to work and endangering ourselves or each other. So far we're safe and undiagnosed with the dreaded "rona". And we have the ability
to stay in touch with loved ones via phone and social media. All in all, not the worst situation at all.

So, we are going from day to day, taking pleasure and joy in small things such as staying up late,
sleeping late, a little reading, cleaning out the dark and foreboding places, going through old pictures
that tell the tales of our lives and always, always - finding time on the porches.

Today is dark and sad Saturday, the day before Easter. How could our desolation or imposed isolation be worse than that original pre-Easter Saturday? That day when hope seemed very uncertain. We
know, by Grace, that tomorrow will come. The sun will rise, our hope will be realized and He will be risen! Allelujah! To my Christian friends and loved ones, I wish you a blessed Easter. Stay safe.
Stay healthy. Stay hopeful.

And if you drive by and see us on the porch, honk and wave. These days it's as good as a hug!

Friday, January 18, 2019

"We All Have Crowns"

Relax. It's just me. I know you haven't heard from me in quite a while. I don't know.....life waxes and wains and some things take priority while other things take a back seat or a back burner. It certainly was never my intention to put "On The Porch" on a back burner, but - oh well.

I do love to read but sometimes that desire waxes and wains too. Can anyone out there relate to that? I'll read and read and be so excited about each book and then, all of a sudden, I just can't read for a while. I wish I could change that about me. Another oh, well......

It may sound silly - since I don't have a house full of kids or grandkids - but I have a favorite children's author, Nancy Tillman. Her books definitely are geared for that time before what they call "chapter books" today. They're for the very young. But they're also for all ages. If you are not aware of Nancy Tillman, I encourage you to check out your favorite book store or go online and read some of her books. Wow. I have quite a collection of them and love them. I give them as gifts to adults because they speak to all of us. Warning: They're sentimental. And if you're an emotional mama, you'll weep a little, because they will remind you of your love for your own child. Her books will put into words what you feel and want for your own children. And they will also speak to you about how you want people you love to feel about themselves. And the artwork in each book is amazing!

I recently purchased Tillman's "The Crown On Your Head" and I'm going to give it to you - right here. It will swell your heart and bring you joy. Read.

****

On the day that we met and I put you to bed, I noticed a crown on the top of your head.
It was made up of sparkling, glimmering things, like moonlight and fireflies and dragonfly wings.

As the days came and went, it was faithful and true...and it grew right along with the rest of you.

I always knew just what your crown meant. It said that you were MAGNIFICENT!
(That means you are grand from your toes to your chin. Take a deep breath and let that sink in.

That's about as high as a word can climb! That's the top of a mountain....a steeple chime.
That's over the moon in a nursery rhyme...and it means, like a star YOU WERE BORN TO SHINE!

(Blink three times and...there you are! You are twinkling, little star!)

In other words, from your very first day, you were chosen to glow in a very big way!

With your crown made of glittering, high-flying things, you've got a wind in your pocket,
your wishes have wings.
You can run like you mean it....so, let the wind blow....There's just no telling how high you can go!

Whatever it is you choose to do, no one can do it exactly like you.
Ride on the big slide! And if you fall down, remember your glorious marvelous crown.

It won't flicker or fade. It won't dim. It won't leave. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BELIEVE.

No one's is brighter, no one's is duller. It's only a crown of a different color.
So sometimes, just every now and then, whisper "I believe" again.
Your crown is your best friend forever, by far. It tells the true story of just who you are.

That's why every night, when I put you to bed, I'm careful to kiss the crown on your head.
****
Ahhhh, wasn't that great? I'm telling you, check her out.


In a sort of related way - and absolutely by chance, my dear friend Judy and I were talking a few days ago and we came upon the subject of our very own crowns. Coincidence, not related to the book in any way.
We agreed that we both have crowns (You do too). We agreed that sometimes those crowns sparkle and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they're downright dull, for sure. And often they are askew, sitting rather crooked on our heads and sometimes they're all tilted back, in a sort of jaunty "I don't give a darn" kind of way. We often aren't even aware of them and particularly when they're dull, we'd really rather forget they're there. But they are there. And when they shine, even just a little, it's a wonderful thing. I guess a worthwhile goal is to be more aware of those crowns on our own heads and on the heads of others. I suppose that helping others to make their own crowns to shine, might even help our own to do the same. Just a thought. Good talk, Judy. Always.

And regarding the Nancy Tillman book that I shared above, sending special love tonight to my own wandering boy, whose crown I've always regarded as bright and magnificent. And also special love to precious baby Kru Maddyn, born January 15. My goodness, baby girl, what wonders you will see!

And for the record, no porch tonight! Brrrrrr. But it's winter and you know I love it.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

"That Wonderful Old Streetlight"

It's Mother's Day evening, May 13, though outside today it has felt much more like summer. (Psstttt! I don't like summer.) I just came in from the porch and the heaviness has lifted a little. It's bearable at least - for this Fall-Winter-Spring person. As I was sitting on the swing, I realized that I heard nothing but traffic going by. It was kind of deafening. I think my favorite outdoor sound in the summer is the wonderful cacophony of kids playing, like that old Neil Diamond song, "A Beautiful Noise". Don't know it? Look it up.
Anyway, in the absence of that kind of noise, I just sat there thinking - about the days when I/we were
young and we were the ones making those joyous summer day and summer evening noises. Growing up, we were fortunate to live in an out-of-the-way neighborhood where there wasn't any through-traffic. We rode our bikes without a care and didn't even check in a lot with home. We went in and out of the neighbor kids' homes like they were our own, as long as they were with us and we felt such slow, relaxed freedom. Smile. I liked Summer then.
During the days, when we weren't at the swimming pool, we played GAMES. Try explaining that
to today's kids. We played Indian ball and tag. We had lemonade stands and were excited if we
made 63 cents. In the evenings we caught lightening bugs in jars - with holes in the lids. And then we'd let them go before we went inside for the night.
As we got a little older, as summer evenings turned from light to gray, my sister Charmaine, Mary Ann Woolcott and I would stand under the streetlight at the head of the street - just a few yards from our home. Her parents could see her from their back door and ours could see us from our front door.
Other neighborhood kids would join us for a while and then mosey on. But we'd stay, discussing
things that just had to be discussed RIGHT then. Every once in a while, Mary Ann's mom or dad would flip the porch light on and off. And every once in a while, mother would call to us to "cut it short; it's getting late." But we'd "push the envelope" for a while, just hating to say goodnight, hating to give in to the enveloping darkness, using that wonderful old streetlight as our beloved gathering place.
I miss that old streetlight. Don't you? Because, in one way or another, I know you had it too. Those
wonderful, slow, slow days and nights.....the summers of our youth. Every once in a while, a sound,
a smell, a song - will bring it all back for just a fleeting second.

And something else I miss so much is the sound of my mother's voice, calling us home for the night.

My female friends, I'm hoping, as we close out this Mother's Day, that this day has been a lovely one for you. As our pastor pointed out this morning, it doesn't matter if you have borne children or if you have mothered other people's children. It doesn't matter if you are a mother of fur babies. A mama, a grandma, an aunt, a dear friend......women everywhere "mother" in some way. It's what we do.

I will "cut this short" this evening. "It's getting late". :)  But Happy Mother's Day to all of my female
readers. Mothering is not an easy effort. It takes determination and endurance and tears and laughter. It takes great strength. I am reminded of the popular slogan we have all read. 'Here's to strong women. May we be them. May we know them. May we raise them.'

I believe I will close out the evening with a walk around the yard and a few more moments on the
porch. I'd better do it while I can. Have I mentioned that Summer is coming? (I really don't like
Summer.) :)

Sunday, April 15, 2018

God's In His Heaven But Where Is Spring?

Great Day In The Morning!!! I mean, is it Spring or isn't it? Someone today said it's the 105th day of January. I have to wonder! On the news this evening.....tornados (before typical tornado season), more wild fires, floods, rain, thunderstorms, SNOW, ice and FREEZING temperatures! And that's across the entire country!

I'm not a gardener by anyone's standards, but I like to play and pretend. I most often purchase and transplant to the ever-receptive earth and by some magic I don't understand, most plants thrive. Most. Not all. But I continue to try. My hyacinths actually bloomed this Spring, but I was forced on two occasions, after listening to weather reports, to cut the blooms and bring them in - just to enjoy a day or two of their wonderful scent. My beloved pink tulips came out of the earth in great mass and it thrilled me as it always does. I actually got two tulip blooms, which promptly froze in place - never opening.

By now we are usually ON THE PORCH watching and enjoying our humming birds. Although on a warm day recently we did put out two of our feeders, no humming birds have arrived. I'm thinking that's a good thing, as they would surely freeze! I wonder where they are and if they're as confused as I am.

No one knows how to dress at this point. We're either dressed too warmly or not warmly enough. I am most often found with leggings and sandals. I think that's a good balance that seems to be working for me. As usual, people think I'm crazy.  No problem.

My wiener babies are horrified most mornings. They just can't believe it when I turn them out to do their morning duties. They look at me as if I have either lost my mind or I don't love them anymore. They too are longing for warmth.

Now, I know I've told you before that I AM A WINTER GIRL. I don't like summer, don't enjoy it - at least when it gets HOT. I growl and whimper, whine and complain. It's not pretty. I like Spring. I LOVE Fall and Winter. If you know me well, you know this. I know, I know. Chastise me. Preach at me. It won't phase me. I am not a summer girl. Period. Never will be. But, come on!!!!!!!!!!!! Even I have my limits! Something must change and soon - and not just for a day! We all need to feel the warmth of the sun and with some degree of confidence that if we blink, it won't be gone.

I don't know who to be mad at. Do you?

I'm not giving up. I will be ON THE PORCH at the first and every opportunity. Honk and wave. We have to believe. I believe. I believe. ........ that God's in His Heaven and all's right with the world.

Monday, February 5, 2018

"Let's Be Delightful"

Following the Christmas holidays and toward the end of the year, I began to wonder what my
next blog would be about. For some reason a specific word came to my mind. Don't ask me why.
Others, long before you, have questioned my mind to absolutely no avail. The word and its
derivatives were Delight. Delightful. Delighted. For some reason, perhaps the time of the year,
I think I longed for pure delight. Peace. Quiet, Tranquility. Assurance. As all of you, I'm sure, I was exhausted. And pure delight seemed impossible to attain. I just wanted to bask in something delightful.

Then, as soon as the new year arrived, so did influenza. I lived, though for a few moments,
doubted that I would. If you're reading this, you have also survived - so far. Hallelujah!!! And if you're one of the myriad of people I unintentionally made ill, please forgive me. I had no idea that I was Typhoid Mary until I hit the ground.

Aside from being ill this year, I have to admit that I never really like or enjoy January. I think there's more to it than just muddling through gray days, possible boredom after the holidays, etc. I always see it coming and think I can ward it off, but I seldom succeed. When January arrives, I have trouble
connecting to the new year. I can't seem to adjust to the brand new calendar and its obligations.
I'm always surprised at Monday and for that matter, the days that follow it. Smile.

And then, as if there is hope (and of course there is), it's February! Suddenly I don't mind the
gray days, because as you know, I do love Winter. I'm connecting to the new year. My calendar
makes sense again. I'm on it! Well, mostly. And finally, things are clearer, more colorful, more
lively, more exciting. Well, ok, maybe not exciting. But better, definitely better.

So, let's get back to the word. For some reason in late December, I heard the word....delight,
and it stayed with me. Such a beautiful word. If we find something to be a delight, it's a beautiful
thing. A great event, a warm and wonderful feeling. It causes us joy. It stays with us,
reminding us that things are good. Cheerful. Happy. So it just stands to reason that if we want
others to have those feelings, then we must strive to be delightFUL. Yikes. Sounds difficult and
it is, after all, only February. Perhaps it would be easier to be delightFUL in June or July. But
I'm DELIGHTED to share with you, because I so need to be reminded, that in all honesty and
with some soul searching, it takes so little effort to be delightful and therefore, to cause delight.

My first cup of coffee in the morning is often delightful and if all goes well shortly thereafter, I may
be able to maintain that attitude. I know that my glass of warm, dry, red wine this evening was
delightful. Sunshine on these cold days is certainly delightful and sitting by a window yesterday
afternoon, watching the large snowflakes fall was absolutely delightful.

Dear, dear friends of ours have recently returned to reside in Chester and I am absolutely
delighted! Over the weekend we had dinner with couples who always delight us and it was
so DELIGHTFUL to share that time with all of them. Watching my precious tail-baby, Albert,
sleeping soundly on the couch........total delight.

So, it goes without saying that I must make every effort to try to be a delight to others and
to spread that kind of JOY (obviously I'm over using the word delight). And, if we think
about it, it's not difficult. In order to do so, we must: Say hello. Smile, really smile at each other.
Inquire as to how one really is. Then listen. Hug (carefully and cautiously, as it is flu season).
Go the extra mile - whatever that means in any situation. Say excuse me. Did I mention smile?
Find a reason to send a card or make a call. Just be delightful. We all know how it works,
what it means and what it costs us, which is absolutely nothing. So why do we sometimes go
through a day without administering this antedote to others? Well, it's because we bog down.
Life is hard. How often have you smiled and spoken to someone at the grocery or elsewhere
and they don't even respond? They carry a frown. They're lost somewhere without joy and
maybe, just maybe the smile we give them may help their day - whether they respond or not.
Again, it has cost us nothing.

I'm not preaching. I am so in need of reading what I am writing. And after re-reading what I've
written, it all seems way too fundamental. But maybe that's the key. Perhaps. And as is usual
for me, I must share a couple of quotes - by people way smarter than I am......quotes that I
hope will apply to what we've been talking about here.

"The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so."...Robert G. Ingersoll

"I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope - and that enables you to laugh at all of life's
realities." ... Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss) --- Now that's delightful.

The year is young. Let's be delightful when and if we can. Stay warm. Stay well. Hug daily....
then wash your hands. And for those of you who really don't DELIGHT in Winter, Spring
is over the horizon!