"My Time Of The Year"

Fall is in the air. It's brisk in the early morning and brisk at night. Shivery. So far, the midday temps are still higher than I would like, but we're getting there. I am hopelessly and forever in love with
Fall......enough so that I don't even mind that it's followed by Winter. Definitely my time of the
year. If you're a reader of "On The Porch.......", you know that my house turned orange weeks
ago, inside and out. At this abode, we love the antics of Halloween and I'm always a little sad to
take down and pack away the Halloween/Fall decorations. But I will do so, on schedule, and
they will be down and put away by November 2. Yep. Even though I own quite a lot of turkeys
and pilgrims and such, there's just not time to put them up in the house and still get the
Christmas extravaganza up in time to enjoy it. I won't turn any Christmas lights on until Thanks-
giving, but to me it's calming to know that, long before December 1, my Christmas world will
light up with the simple flip of a switch.......switches........many, many flips of switches.

And so...................talking about Fall and Halloween, it just follows that we are closely on the
heels of the holiday season..............I know. I know. It may seem that I'm getting ahead of
myself. But stay with me. I'm going somewhere. We all know that people do their Christmas
shopping earlier and earlier these days. I can't judge because this is October 18 and I did some
today. I start early for various reasons. It alleviates last minute stress and I enjoy it. It brings
me joy to know that some things are already selected, paid for and tucked away. Now, unless you
sit at your computer and select and order gifts online, you will be shopping in stores (Don't forget
Chester!) and you'll be standing in lines. You'll be dealing with other shoppers who may be
tired and grumpy - as you may be. You'll be dealing with clerks who, believe me, are more tired
than you are. It takes a special kind of person to be a store clerk, especially at Christmas. Am I
right? God bless them.

I am the type of shopper, not just at Christmas but all year long, that just might drive you crazy because I talk to people I don't know. I say hello. I tell them if I like their hair. I tell them if I
think their children are cute. I say excuse me, even if they stepped in my way. If I determine that
they seem stumped or lost about something I will offer my assistance. l have been known, when
shopping for a child I don't see often, to ask mothers for their advice on children's clothing sizes.
You know those women at the entrances to dressing rooms, who give you a number and direct
you to the changing rooms? Sometimes we get to know one another really well - in a very short
period of time (smile). I smile at people who seem to need one - or even if they don't. I'm incorrigible. I even do this in the grocery store. And people are really serious in the grocery store.
I don't share these things about myself in order to boast. It's not about that. It's because I REALLY
can't help myself. Sad. It seems I have no shame and I cannot be stopped. But women, you'll never know this first hand, because I'm not the type of shopper who shops with other women. No. Never. I'm a solo act. All the way. I will shop with Bob and he's a pretty good shopper - but he didn't come that way, all wrapped up in a box with a red ribbon. Training was involved, but he was receptive.

If you are a silent shopper, that's ok. I find, in my shopping escapades, that the public seems split
about 50/50. Some are like me; some are not. But for the most part, the silent, less outgoing ones usually put up with me and stop short of running away in terror. Regardless of our proclivity to be gregarious shoppers or not so much, let's just all make a concerted effort this year to be kind as we venture into the holiday "traffic". We're living in a tenuous time. On top of it, people are tired, stressed, worried, sad. If a smile or an 'excuse me' at any juncture can alleviate any of that, then
the cost is certainly not too high.

I'm not preaching, believe me. A long wait in a long line after a long day can certainly cause me to 'harrumph' and want to scream. But if we can, let's remember to be kind, just kind. I'll try if you'll try and that will be a start. We'll be tired and our feet will hurt. At some point our backs will seem to be
breaking and we'll be hungry. We'll wonder why in the world we're even doing this. But let's
give it a try. I'm in if you are. And if by chance we run in to one another on one of these little
shopping ventures, don't you dare turn and run from me. I'll try to keep it to a minimum, but
we're gonna' talk, at least a little. And we're gonna' smile at one another! Ya' hear me?

And remember, the coffee's on and the wine's on tap. See you on the porch. I have blankets!

"The Knife & Fork Drawer"

How long has it been since you walked in to a friend's house, went in to the kitchen and knew
just which drawer to open to get a spoon to stir your coffee? Odd question right off the top, isn't it? Well, I've been thinking lately about this very thing. I guess, admittedly, that I'm talking mostly to
women this time. I don't think this would be a subject most men would "get". But I believe that
by the time I've signed off this evening, most of my female readers will be thinking about it.

You have to know a person pretty well to be able to just automatically know where the knife and fork drawer is. Oh, you can find it by process of elimination, but that's not what I'm talking about. And
this little test isn't only about friends......it can also include family. If you're blessed enough to still
have your grandparents or mama or daddy or a sister or offspring within reach, then I'm sure you'll pass this test without fail. It's been many years since I've been that fortunate. If you have it, appreciate it.

Years ago, as a younger woman, I could say that I had a small handful of friends in whose
homes I could do such a thing. But times change. Situations change. Living arrangements change.
And although I still have good friends, I can honestly admit that if I need a piece of silverware
while I may be in their homes, I'm going to have to ask for it.

Ok, Ok, I guess the silverware analogy is a little specific. But to me it is indicative of other things.
I don't think people of my era actually spend time at friends' homes the way they used to. As I said,
I still have friends, we may go places together, talk on the phone, just stay in touch in general.
And that's all wonderful. But there's just something warm and intimate about being able to open
the screen door, stick your head inside and yell, "It's me! Anybody home?"

When I was a little girl, my Grandma Hasemeyer always had quilting frames up in her "front room".
There was always a quilt in progress. Sometimes hers - mostly hers. But sometimes someone else's.
It didn't matter whose it was. Neighborhood women just wanted to sit and quilt. They'd just
drop by and say, "Mary, do you mind if I quilt a while?" And of course she didn't. She'd hurry to
finish whatever she was doing and within minutes, she'd be in there too, quilting away. Part of
the goal was to quilt. The larger goal, I think, was to visit. And she'd always put the water on to
boil so she could fix them both a cup of Sanka. IYIYIYIYIYI! Sanka! But I digress.

If you still enjoy that kind of casual and relaxing camaraderie with neighbors or friends, I think that's wonderful - and I also think it's amazing. Because it just seems that those days are gone. I hope
I'm wrong.

I long for the time when I felt as comfortable in a friend's kitchen as I do in my own. And here we
are, back in the kitchen. But we all know that's the heart of the home and where everybody tends to
want to be when there's a gathering. You get two women talking in the kitchen, over a beverage,
warm or cold, and that's when the secrets and dreams are shared. Tell me I'm wrong. I'd love to
hear from you all on this one.

To my dear friends, don't panic. I'm not coming over anytime soon to invade your kitchen. But
when I do happen to be there, I'm hunting for that drawer - like it or not.

And by the way, it's very, very pleasant on my porch these days. I'm enjoying it so much!