Happy Thanksgiving!

It's just a special day. It's not a religious holiday, like Christmas or Easter. And yet we certainly
remember today to be thankful for all that we have. For family and friends. For health. Good fortune. All of that and more. Probably we are always thankful for these things. But today, we stop to take
extra time to be grateful, to thank our God if we are believers. We bow our heads - or lift our heads, depending on what is our custom. And we say thank you. Thank you for all of it. And thank you for
seeing us through the hard times. We ask for God's protection and for His favor in the days to come.

I'm hoping at this time on Thanksgiving evening, that you're easing down, taking time to relax and to
take stock of the day. Some have worked very hard to make it a special time for family and
friends. Others of us (me, this year) have had a very relaxing day. If you've been well fed and cared
for today, please remember to find a way to thank your cook. She/he is exhausted. Trust me.

And as things are quieting down, let's just take a few minutes to utter some extra words of
thanks. I'm going to wager that you've already said thank you for the wonderful food you've been so
fortunate to consume. And probably you've said thank you to God for your precious family and
friends. I know I have. Let's remember to be grateful for our men and women in service to our
country and to our first responders who serve us closer to home, daily. And just a sidebar, this is one area where social media is so valuable. By mid morning today I'd been in touch with loved ones from across this great country and even from across the world. It was a wonderful, warm and special feeling. In an era when social media can be so dark, this start to my day was a blessing.

I'm also so thankful for tradition. I touched a little last week about the traditions that we, as women,
have inherited from our mothers - such as the ways that we cook and bake. But more than that, we
have all taken on the traditions of all of our ancestors, in celebrating this wonderful holiday. Think
back, if you will, on the memories of Thanksgivings of your past, when we were children. When
mothers cooked and cleaned, as they do now. And when families gathered together, as they do now.
Remember the days we spent with our grandparents, our aunts, uncles and cousins. As I've done
some of that remembering today, it's caused me to "smile out loud" if you know what I mean. I have
some wonderful memories of being with Grandma and Grandpa Hasemeyer and other extended family.

I specifically remember one Thanksgiving as a child when my little family was hosting the day at
our tiny home. I remember how the house smelled with everything cooking and baking and how
excited my sister and I were to know that everyone was coming to our house. Somehow, as it turned out, there was room for everyone. By early afternoon the snow began to fall, unexpectedly. Obviously
technology was not what it is now. :) The snow fell and fell and our house full of people went from
excitement and wonder to some apprehension. How would everyone get home? Would they even
be able to get out of the driveway and on to the main road? But you know what? No one left
early. Everyone stayed all day and into the evening. Though I could not have explained it this
way at that time, in memory I know that on that day I felt somehow insulated and protected. As that blanket of snow fell and drifted all around our little world, I felt safe and warm and loved. It's a feeling that I still remember and a memory that I cherish after all these decades.

My hope for you on this Thanksgiving night, is that your day has caused you to feel safe and warm
and loved. And if you're celebrating tomorrow or Sunday or even next week, it makes no difference.
May you know that wonderful feeling. Each year is different. Each celebration and holiday are
different. Life enters in, with all kinds of problems and issues, but it's the feelings, the memories we hold in our hearts that last.

And now the craziness begins. As Thanksgiving ends, the Christmas season has officially begun. It's going to be a bumpy ride. It always is. Hold on tight and remember to be thankful.

"Christmas Memories...A Little Early"

I haven't posted here since Nov. 9. Sorry. Life has been chaotic and a little crazy. I guess at my age
that can be a good thing. :) I guess it means I'm still putting along. I'm sure you can all relate. Time flies and days are busy. Let's be thankful we are busy and that to some extent, we can still manage "crazy". Right?

I know that Thanksgiving is next week - less than a week away. Today as I was making my way through this and that around town - I could actually feel the electricity that accompanies this time of year. People are talking about the size of turkeys they have ordered or that they're about to order. Almost everyone asks one another, "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" "Where are you going?" "Are you cooking?", etc., etc. It's a good excitement and it's just the beginning. For the next several weeks, it will be like that wherever we go. Bustling, hurrying, busy, busy, busy. Electric. During these weeks, let's try to also remember that not everyone is going to be bustling. Not everyone is going to be sharing the excitement and anticipation. Some people are alone. Others are not well. Many are
worried and apprehensive - for many reasons. Whether it's a phone call, a 'thinking of you' card, a
visit with a pot of soup........ anything that says 'I care'. I am going to make that a concerted effort.
Will you do it with me? I hope so. I need your encouragement as much as you may need mine. Thanks.

Here at home, things are bustling. Not by requirement but by design. We love to decorate for
Christmas. I say "we". I hope I'm right. :) The day after Halloween, all those fun decorations come down. I mean immediately. Nothing drives me crazier than to see Halloween decorations after Halloween! Just a personal pet peeve. And immediately after that, the Christmas TUBS begin coming
in to the house. Approximately 45 tubs. I know. I know. Bob and I are eccentric Christmas decorators. By that, I mean he carries it all in to the house from storage and I decide where and how it goes up.
I vacillate between tradition - such as this tree ALWAYS goes here - to trying to do things a little differently each year. Some years it's murder! This year it's gone pretty easily. We put up lots of trees - all over The house - and then there are the mantels, countertops, on and on. I absolutely love it. The reason for getting it up early is that we can then sit back and actually enjoy it. We don't turn on the lights until after Thanksgiving. But if I wait until after Thanksgiving to begin, we don't get to enjoy it.
I know not everyone enjoys the profusion of Christmas everywhere, but we do. It's a good thing Bob
and I agree on this. :)

Remember that old movie, "I Remember Mama"? Well, it's a sure thing that everyone reading this
does remember mama. I mean - we women always fix the stuffing the way mama did. We make
pie crust the way mama did. The older we get the more we tend to do things the way mama did it. Am I right?  As a child, our home was always a bit chaotic - for lots of reasons - and we didn't have
a lot. But my mother always made decorating for Christmas a big deal. Certainly we only had one
tree and it was a real tree. (Today, my trees are artificial, however.) Mother let my sister and me
put the decorations on the tree and we loved it. When we were finished, Mother handled the rest.
She used tinsel. Remember tinsel? Mother would begin hanging the tinsel on the tree. She did it all
day long and all night long, as she'd take a break from cooking or as she'd walk through the living
room, or just before bedtime and then early in the morning before we woke up. Any extra moment she had, she'd be hanging more tinsel! She'd still be adding tinsel to that tree until Christmas! And it was perfect, put on one piece at a time. It was beautiful. A  wonderful memory for me.

But before the tree, came the yule log. Before daddy would get the tree, Mother would get out the
yule log that she kept year to year. It had three red candles and it would sit on top of the television. We never lit the candles because she used them year after year. But when Charmaine and I got home
from school and saw that yule log on the TV, we knew the tree was coming soon and so was Christmas. Memories. I thank God for them.

I think we all hope we have somehow instilled fond memories in the hearts of our own children, memories that they will carry with them through their lives. Several years ago when Jamey came
home for Christmas, he immediately noticed that I had a different tree topper on the traditional
tree. He said that he remembered the angel that had always been on our Christmas trees when he
was growing up. Touchdown!!! I do still have that angel. Of course. If you know me, you know
that I still have that angel.

Well, tonight I've spoken more about Christmas than I have Thanksgiving and we haven't had either one yet. It's not that I'm overlooking Thanksgiving. It's just that I'm already in the throws of Christmas. Bear with me, please.

More importantly - I guess if I'm sending a message tonight, it's just this.  Whatever your traditions, whatever your holiday preferences or family practices, just remember to "soak it up", enjoy it, relish
it. Cherish it. Treasure it. It's fleeting. And I'm not just talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas.
You get the message.

By the way, my porch is screened in. Albert and I absolutely love it.

Nov. 9, 2016

Wow. I did not get to this blog last week. So much to do and so little time. It's a common
complaint, I know. But it's very realistic.

Today, I post, perhaps not in a way any of you or many of you will appreciate. But still I blog, because I can and because no one signs my check. Smile. Such relief. So if you do not approve,
sign off, never to sign back on - or sign off in forgiveness - or sign off and then sign back on when
you see something of which you do approve.

My blog today will be brief, fragmented, broken.

Integrity. Or lack thereof.
Ethics. Or lack thereof.
Honesty? Or lack thereof.
Regret for what is and what is not.
Morals.
Soul. Actual Soul.
Choices. And I do respect choices.
Differences. And I do respect differences. I celebrate them. How could I not? I embody them
for the most part.
Hope. Because I cannot live without it.
Joy. Because I will find it again.
Surprise, though I should not be.
Surrender, because what is my choice?
Acceptance, because what is my choice?
Respect. Though it is a monumental effort at this point.
Expectation. Which I will not discuss at this point. But to which I look forward.

Heartbreak. Devastation. Though the art/act of rising above. Which I will do because I have

Integrity.

Blessings to all.

"Ghostly Memories At Riley Lake"

Deliver us from "goblins and ghosties and long legitty beasties and other things that go bump in the
night". It's certainly the time of year for that age-old verse, a time for thoughts of mystery and
intrigue, memories of 'haunted Halloweens', when our minds were free enough to believe, even if for only one night.

Who of us hasn't at least one favorite memory of a spooky evening, a haunted house, a ghost story
that sent chills up and down our spines? And who of us didn't enjoy it, at least a little? I mean,
come on, those of you who know me - look where I live! Spooky can occur here when we least
expect it!

Years ago I did some writing for the Southern Illinois Weekender Newspaper, submitting feature
articles a few times a month. The following was one of those features that was printed in that
newspaper. I thought, after all this time, it might be fun to do a reprint as a part of 'On The Porch...."
Here goes.....

Longtime residents of Riley Lake, located in Randolph County, along the Mississippi River, just
north of Chester, remember a ghost story, a story that has lived on, generation after generation.
The ghostly figure, in this instance, has a name, Prix Paget, and as the natives tell it.......

One of the most famous mills in the early history of the Mississippi Valley was Paget's watermill at the outlet of Riley Lake. The date of its establishment is not definitely known, though some believe it was in operation as early as 1709. Records certainly exist telling of the mill's operation between
1735 and 1763. The business, located on the east side of the Kaskaskia River, was apparently a
thriving one, as records indicate that Paget was engaged in shipping flour, at that time, by the Mississippi River as far away as Mobile, Alabama, New Orleans, Louisiana and to the troops at Ft. Duquesne. Much of Paget's mill work was done by slave labor.

In 1751 Paget married Marie Francoise Michel and the couple had four children, Joseph, Francoise,
Helene and Marie. Although most published sources list Mr. Paget's death as occurring in 1765, the
old French records at the Randolph County Museum and Archives show that Paget's family met to
decide the fate of his children on or before November 9, 1763. Therefore, his death must have occurred prior to that date.

Local lore, mixed with historical "fact", tells us that Paget met his death at the hands of the
Kickapoo Indians, a warlike tribe that lived to the north and northeast of Kaskaskia and raided
the area from time to time. Reportedly they attacked the mill, killing Paget by scalping and beheading him. His severed head, legend tells us, was thrown into the mill's hopper. Several of his slaves
were also killed, but it is believed that one of the slaves escaped to tell the tale and give an alarm.
Now, as tragic and horrific as that must have been, that's the stuff that Halloween is made of!!!

Although exact reports of ghostly sightings of Paget in the Riley Lake area are hard to come by, area
residents, young and old alike, attest that the story is undoubtedly true.

One Riley Lake native that I spoke to stated that he's heard the story all of his life. He can't prove
that it's accurate but he certainly enjoyed its mystery as a youngster. When asked if the story
frightened him or his friends, the gentlemen said, "When it got dark around here, we stayed inside."
And who could blame them?

In earlier days, Riley Lake was a thriving community, boasting a hotel, stores, many homes and
farms. Today there is virtually no sign that a community actually existed there. The hotel, which
was also said to have been haunted, was destroyed by fire many, many years ago. I remember
seeing it when it was just a dilapidated shell of an abandoned building. Storefront buildings have
long ago been torn down - or have fallen down - and all that remains are a few scattered houses
alongside the hillsides, which are densely covered with years of forest growth. Here and there
are the remnants of a building's stone foundation. Without streetlights, darkness falls quickly on
a Fall or Winter evening. And with the railroad tracks nearby, the ghostly whistles only add to
the haunting theory that somewhere, out there in the darkness of the forest, among the ancient
ruins of a gristmill, lurks the spirit of a former resident of Riley Lake, Prix Paget.

Well, probably none of us will be spending Halloween night at Riley Lake, so we don't have to
fear the spirit or the severed head of Mr. Paget. However, there's just something wonderfully spooky about Halloween night, don't you think? At our old tomb on the hill we love to celebrate Halloween to the max! So, if you've nothing else to do that evening, stop by and say hello. We'll be happy to see you and you never know - there could be a ghost sighting!!!

"Life Is Full Of Surprises"

Life is amazing, isn't it? Or at least it is if you show up, don't just phone it in and try your best
to enjoy the surprises along the way.

I have to admit that the older I get, the more regimented I am. When I was a "working woman", you'd
have thought I'd have been more structured. But no, during those years I was less so. Now that I'm
retired, I tend to be - as I said - more regimented. Perhaps it's because I feel that, if I am not, I
won't be able to "keep it all together"......that I will just get too relaxed about it all.

Anyway, enough self-analyzing for now. This little blog will be brief tonight. I just want to comment
on how wonderful it is to be surprised by good things, good friends, good times, good timing. Great
stuff.

This evening, after a day of the usual schedules, I expected the evening to hold much the same - things that I thought needed to be done, things on the lists I spoke of last week. But instead I was surprised by good friends and the rest of the evening gloriously went to heck in the proverbial
handbasket. How wonderful it was. Re-connecting, laughter, wine under the moonlight - while we
bundled in blankets. The love of old friendship.

I said I would be brief tonight. So suffice to say, thank you, my friends for the unexpected and
totally welcome visit. I loved every minute and loved the joy of the unexpected!

The lesson to be learned? You never know what's around the next corner. Look for it. Wait for it.
Enjoy it. Surprise!!!!!

"Lists, Lists, Lists"

Do you make lists? Without hearing you answer, I can almost be sure that you're nodding your
head. Everybody makes some kind of list.....at least I think they do. Shopping lists, for sure. If
I go to the grocery store without a shopping list, I will walk the entire store three times and still not
get everything I need. However, with my trusty list in hand, I can make fairly short work of the
project (assuming I don't run into people I know in the aisles with whom I will spend time talking). And just having the list is not enough. I have to cross off the items as I put them in the cart. If I think
of something while I'm shopping that I forgot to put on the list - I'll actually add it to the list, right then and there, so that I can scratch it off. Yep. And if while out shopping, I need to make a few stops,
I'll categorize the list so that I know what will be purchased at the grocery store, what will come
from the pharmacy, then the post office, on and on.

I'm already making progress on my Christmas shopping list. Remember, I told you I love to
Christmas shop! I carry a small book, complete with names and ideas of what I hope to find for
each individual. Checkmarks indicate success, so I know I'm through shopping for that person. It works for me! And hanging on my fridge right now is the list of youngsters near and dear to
my heart for whom I need to make special treat bags for Halloween. Can't forget that.

I was looking through my desk today and found a notebook from last year's Christmas home
party - complete with lists of what I'd served and who I had invited. Well, I certainly saved that
for a reason. I'll keep it a while longer. It will help me with this year's planning. You're
with me here, right? And I don't know about you, but I still have a hard copy Christmas card
list. How can anyone not be most productive with hard copy lists - something to hold? I just don't
understand people who have things like this on the computer or ON THEIR PHONE!!!

I remember when my son was little and then a teenager and even when he was in college, his
lists of wishes for his birthday or Christmas were works of art. He certainly surpasses my "list
abilities". He would write the desired items and alongside the list, he would draw - with various
colored pencils - pictures of the items.....really extravagant pictures! Or sometimes he would cut
out a picture from a catalog to coordinate with the written list. I have kept a few of those lists. I still marvel at them. He's much more creative than I am - in many ways!!

Certainly I make mental lists just about every day - to include what I need to get done, where I
need to go, etc. And those mental lists are also valuable, but not as effective, at least for me.
I'm much more productive if I actually write it all down.

So, I've established that I'm a list maker. And I've speculated that I think you probably are too -
at least to some extent. Now, let's talk just a minute about the next step. If I have a "to do" list
of chores, I absolutely have to scratch off each chore as it's done. And again, if I dig into some-
thing I didn't actually have on my "to do" list, I'll add it too - just so that I can scratch it off.
I did this every day during my years in the work force and I do it at home. At work it was the
best way to make sure I had achieved my goals for the day and met whatever deadlines were
sitting there staring at me. It helped me face the next day with a little less dread, knowing exactly
what was done and what awaited me in the a.m.

Now that I'm retired, I find the same rule pretty much applies. Don't get me wrong, I can
waste time with the best of them. I can manage to while away a day when I really want to. But
when things need doing, there will be a list. And I will scratch off the duties, one by one, till
I'm done. Hopefully. I think it's because I need to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes
from looking at that list and seeing it all completed. I did have on my list for today - WRITE
TODAY'S BLOG. As you can see, it's taken me all day to get to it. But here I am. I'm writing.
I'm about to close it out and publish it. And then I'll check it off my list. Feels good. And I've
caused you to waste at least five minutes reading about my lists.

Have a great tomorrow and as always, thanks for reading.

"It Truly Does Take A Village"

I was born in this small town and I've lived here all of my life - except for about a minute when I was
a very young woman. Some may say that narrows a life. In fact - I remember one time when someone
actually did tell me that, suggesting that I wouldn't have an opinion on "things" because I'd "never
BEEN anywhere". Well, it's not that I've never been anywhere, I've just always LIVED here,  laid my
weary head here - as it were. I love going places, but I've always called Chester home. If you have
too, then you may understand where I'm going with this. Or maybe not.

As I look back on my life, it is so obvious to me that I was planted here for a reason. I was going
to need a village. My family was going to need a village. And so, I was planted where a village
would be there for us. And it has been. It certainly has been. A "village" can manifest in a variety
of ways, of course. It can be a neighborhood, a group of friends, a church family - or an entire
community. However it appears and helps is not important. It's just important that the support, love
and encouragement are there.

Now, I'm not going to suggest that the village aspect doesn't present itself in larger communities.
Cities can be just as supportive as small towns. Let's look for a moment at the tragic situations
in St. Louis recently, with Officers Flamion and Snyder. The entire city of St. Louis and its
counties have joined forces to support the families and the Back Stoppers organization. What
heartwarming stories we've read and seen on the news about the many projects the people of St.
Louis have sponsored in order to be supportive and caring. It renews one's faith in mankind, doesn't it?

In a small town like Chester we've seen this type of support all of our lives. Some may wench and
complain about our small town and its shortcomings. But one cannot deny the heart of the people who reside here.

Growing up was a tad difficult for me and my family. I only say so, not to whine or complain, but
to make my point. I was blessed with a closely knit neighborhood and church family. Almost as
early as I can remember there were wonderful women in my life who "saw to things", made
sure that I had things I really needed. One woman was the late and wonderful Bernice Woolcott, who
lived just a couple of houses from me and also attended our church. She taught me to cook and to bake. She taught me to sew, though I don't hold my failure at that against her. :) She taught me
things about life that I can't begin to explain. She and her wonderful husband, John, took us to school every day. She would tell us little things - like when it was time to get out the winter coats for us and the kids. (We were smart enough to know, but we were kids and probably didn't always show a lot of responsibility.) She held me accountable in many ways - without ever shaking her finger at me or raising her voice. She loved us. That simple.

And always present in my life, has been Mary Limbaugh - wonderful, accepting, loving Mary
Limbaugh. I suppose I first met Mary when I was less than a toddler, attending the Methodist
Church in Chester. Mary is fond of saying, "Honey, I've loved you since you were in diapers."
And she has. There was never a time in my life that I have not been able to talk with Mary about
ANYTHING. She usually knew and understood what I was going through before I discussed it
with her. Mary's presence in my life has been a gift like no other. She has taught me about God's
love, just by being who she is. She has taught me about forgiveness and generosity, about
substance and the importance of laughter. Most of life's major and important life lessons have
come from her. Her door has always been open to me. And her heart, that wonderful heart, has
always been big enough to include me in it.

Eileen Gordon was my cousin and so she was always in my family circle. As a very young adult,
she took me under her wing and introduced me to community service and involvement. Also, for many years, I was blessed to have the opportunity to actually work with her at the Randolph County Herald Tribune. She was a talented and insightful writer. I too loved to write and she encouraged me to do so. Eileen and I were very close friends, as well as cousins, and I hold her impact on my life
as priceless.

I would be remiss not to mention another who mothered me and cared for me and that would be
Esther (Nance) Johnson. Esther's daughter and I were good friends during our teen years. Esther
and I had many mother/daughter talks and she made every effort to teach me the things she felt
I needed to know. She helped me more than she knows and I am so grateful. I remember my senior year in high school that Esther designed and made my prom dress so that I could attend the
CHS Spring Dance. No, Esther, I have not forgotten! Thank you so much for including me and
loving me!

Oh, my goodness, there have certainly been others - others who stepped up at the right moments
and took charge or guided me in a right direction.....or who forgave me when I took the wrong
direction. Others perhaps who protected me from who knows what! You know, being that "village"
 to others is not a concept that has gone out of style. It is as needed today as it ever was! It is still the
best way to show our love for others. It is still the best way to lift others up. It is still the best way
to be our best selves. And the need is all around us. I write this today, partially to acknowledge
special people I have loved and who have loved me. But I also write it as a reminder to myself to
"be the village". And I want to remind you to "be the village". At any given moment - any one of
us may be the only hand that is offered in a critical situation. Money is not always the answer.
Most often it's the hand or the heart that is offered in love. Thanks for reading, my friends.
I'm out the door and to the porch.